Antonie by Liliana Pham

I have been a model since 2009. I’ve done it for more than 7 years. It was my hobby and I was building a network of contacts that have been useful for the field that I studied, which was Fashion design.

Photographers, for which I was formerly a model, they later took photographs of my design works. During that 7 years, I have gradually learned how to work with the visual concept and how to work with the model. I have learned to feel the composition of photography and how to perceive a light.

Over the time I realized that I have felt very empty and it started to bother me that I was only a photographer’s object, not even a human. These feelings led to the fact that I have been anyone else but definitely not myself. These findings led me to stop taking photographs with others and I started to shoot self-portraits.

Self-portraits help me to discover my own visual style. It took me 2 years to found it. Then I found out that digital photography does not say anything to me and I have no relationship with it. I moved to analog photography, specifically medium format, which gives me a sense of meaning. In analog photography, emotions such as surprises and disappointments can be experienced, and I am very excited about it. The analog photography forces you to think. I don’t see why to make a thousand photos and then browse and choose. My cameras are Hasselblad 500c and Yashica-D.The most important thing for me is the calmness and purity in each photograph. Black is exactly my cup of tea. People are saying that my photographs are melancholic, a paint look-alike, specific.When I think deeply about it, my whole life is influenced by photography. All the breaking moments in my life have led me to this. Photography saved my life and allowed me to learn more about myself. My goal is to capture melancholy, to show people the truth and to discover my own worth as a human being. [Official Website]