Vanessa Paxton – Seven years ago. That’s how long ago I created these images. I can hardly believe its been so long. I was in a very dark place when I created this series. I remember having the wildest dreams (cats on trampolines in a desert?!).
I was very much tormented by those dreams. Working through this series was the only way I knew how to work through my depression. It gave me a reason to get out of bed in the mornings. I used to make two or three images a day. Though I ended up scraping most of what I created. Now I wish I’d kept them. They were never really meant to be anything. They were just for me, and for whatever reason I felt unattached to the things I created. The process itself was all I cared about, not the end result.
I mostly used stock images from free stock sites. I did however use a few of my own, all the skies, the signage, and some shots I’d taken at the zoo – the giraffe is the only one that made the cut it seems. At the time I was very inspired by the works of Denis Olivier. It’s ironic but I enjoyed making this series the most. I look back at my mental state and I actually long to be there again (crazy, I know). Even though I was in a dark place I remember feeling so much more than I do now, and that is somehow preferable to just being “okay”.
For me, this series was all about capturing feelings of isolation. I constantly dreamt of wondering through an infinite landscape, not knowing when or where to stop. I felt incapable of formulating a future for myself. I had somehow lost my purpose. The images in my head played out like an eerie indie horror film with vague figures flickering through spaces. The sky was always low and oppressive in the way it moved overhead, rushing passed me, and I could hear nothing but the slight hum of white noise. [Official Website]