I created my series In Death, There Is Beauty (and Yet I Still Dream of Love) as a visual metaphor to mythologize the lived realities of transgender Filipinas.
In some of the images, a funeral wreath looms in the background.
It serves as a haunting reminder that, for many Filipina trans women, simply existing can mean risking everything, even life itself. Yet, ironically, a funeral wreath is also made of flowers, a symbol of spring, rebirth, and femininity. I wanted these contradictions—death and beauty, grief and hope—to exist together.
Shot using a medium-format film camera, the project was born during a period of deep despair in my life following the end of my romantic relationship with a cisgender heterosexual man. The breakup left me shattered. As I mourned the loss of love and the validation that I was worthy of affection as a trans person, I sank into hopelessness and eventually contemplated suicide. In the face of cold grief, I turned to my community for warmth. There, I realized that, as a trans Filipina, my sorrow was not only emotional but also political, historical, and communal.
From that place of darkness and solidarity, In Death, There Is Beauty (and Yet I Still Dream of Love) emerged as a visual love letter to my community and an act of defiance against a society that seeks to erase our existence. The project remains rooted in my ongoing practice as a transgender woman photographing other trans women. In this series, they appear as diwatas, sacred spirits or nymphs drawn from Filipino mythology, reimagined through a trans lens.
The series unfolds like a story, beginning with Fatalism, an acceptance of death as part of the trans identity, then moving through the stages of Grief in a winding, nonlinear manner as I processed my heartbreak, and finally culminating in Healing and Blossoming. The writings surrounding each photograph are drawn from my self-reflections on my transgender identity, as well as personal notes from my breakup.
Ultimately, this work seeks to challenge dominant narratives and question the positioning of trans people as grotesque “Others.” I want to illuminate trans Filipinas not as objects of scrutiny or pity, but as beautiful and radiant individuals. In the face of pain and marginalization, we continue to dream of love. That, too, is a form of resistance.
This project was supported by Sachet Projects (@sachetprojects on Instagram).
About Bienyl Huelgas
Bienyl Huelgas (b. 1998) is a self-taught photographic artist based in Cavite, Philippines. Raised in a low-income household in a small rural sitio, she draws on her lived experiences and uses photography as a space for self-reflection. Working across digital and analog photographic processes, she examines what it means to move through the world as a transgender woman. Her work explores the tensions between visibility and erasure, belonging and exile, while questioning how marginalized bodies are represented and remembered.
She is an alumna of the 2026 Angkor Photo Workshops. Her work has been exhibited locally and internationally, including at Queer Festival Heidelberg in Germany and the Diecidecimi Art Festival in Italy, and has been featured in publications such as Tiga Mata Zine.
She has received awards and recognition from The Photo Review’s Annual International Photography Competition, the International Photography Awards, and the Analog Sparks International Film Photography Awards. She was also a finalist for the Head On Portrait Awards, Klompching Gallery’s FRESH Photo Award, and Photolucida’s Critical Mass.
Her ongoing series, CAVITEÑA, was selected as a finalist in the Open Call Portfolio Showcase at the 10th Singapore International Photography Festival. [Official Website]
